Whether it’s a hostile e-mail from a co-worker or criticism from your boss, no one likes conflict at work. Most people try to avoid and minimize conflict, especially at work. Conflict in the workplace can be so stressful that it leads to physical ailments in addition to emotional stress.
What are some ways to handle conflict at work?
• Get to the root of the problem. Many conflicts at work are sparked by a deeper issue. If your co-worker is criticizing the way you handled a project, and you feel that the criticism is unfair, you might need to have a deeper conversation about your different working styles.
• Communicate better. Better communication can be the cure for most workplace conflicts. If you find yourself feeling attacked by a co-worker’s e-mail, go over and talk in person, or pick up the phone and calmly ask if there’s anything you can do to answer her questions. If your manager is critical of your performance, look for ways to improve, and be more proactive about sharing updates with your manager during the course of your regular work. If your manager only finds out about your work through other people, , that is a sign that you need to improve your communication to get on your manager’s radar screen.
• Offer solutions instead of problems. If your manager only hears from you when there is a problem, or if you only reach out to your co-workers when there is a sudden crisis that requires their attention, you are likely to be in for some conflict at work. One of the best ways to avoid or defuse conflict is to manage the flow of information to your manager and colleagues in a way that avoids unpleasant surprises. Keep people in the loop. When you identify a problem, find some possible solutions to present to your manager for approval – ideally you should be able to say, “Here is the problem, and here are some possible steps that I’ve identified to address it – what do you think we should do next?”
• Recognize the other perspective. Don’t shut down or surrender in the face of conflict; instead, show the other person that you recognize that their concerns are valid. Acknowledge their concerns and engage with them. Conflict doesn’t have to mean “angry arguments,” it can actually be a good impetus for two people to communicate more openly about what they’re trying to accomplish and how they can better help one another.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt. Your boss is probably not deliberately trying to be mean to you. Your co-worker probably did not intend for that e-mail to sound so harsh. Try to separate the person from the message that was delivered – if you object to the tone of an e-mail or the way your boss is critiquing your performance, there are ways to defend yourself without personally attacking the person delivering the message.
• Show that you care. Sometimes conflict is inevitable. When two different people have different ideas for how to handle a situation, there might not be a way to avoid having a disagreement. Conflict can even be healthy – after all, in companies where no one ever disagrees, that is often a sign that no one is really engaged in shaping the future direction of the business, or a sign that management is stifling people’s ideas. Constructive conflict is a sign of people who are eager to share their ideas and help shape the future.
Conflict can be uncomfortable, but it’s not insurmountable. If you can improve your communication, respect other people’s opinions, and better anticipate other people’s needs as part of your regular work day, you’ll be less likely to have painful arguments, and more likely to have productive exchanges of ideas that lead to better results for your organization and better career success for you.
Ben Gran (http://benjamingran.com/) is a freelance writer based in Des Moines, Iowa. He is an award-winning blogger who loves to write about careers and the future of work.
What are some ways to handle conflict at work?
• Get to the root of the problem. Many conflicts at work are sparked by a deeper issue. If your co-worker is criticizing the way you handled a project, and you feel that the criticism is unfair, you might need to have a deeper conversation about your different working styles.
• Communicate better. Better communication can be the cure for most workplace conflicts. If you find yourself feeling attacked by a co-worker’s e-mail, go over and talk in person, or pick up the phone and calmly ask if there’s anything you can do to answer her questions. If your manager is critical of your performance, look for ways to improve, and be more proactive about sharing updates with your manager during the course of your regular work. If your manager only finds out about your work through other people, , that is a sign that you need to improve your communication to get on your manager’s radar screen.
• Offer solutions instead of problems. If your manager only hears from you when there is a problem, or if you only reach out to your co-workers when there is a sudden crisis that requires their attention, you are likely to be in for some conflict at work. One of the best ways to avoid or defuse conflict is to manage the flow of information to your manager and colleagues in a way that avoids unpleasant surprises. Keep people in the loop. When you identify a problem, find some possible solutions to present to your manager for approval – ideally you should be able to say, “Here is the problem, and here are some possible steps that I’ve identified to address it – what do you think we should do next?”
• Recognize the other perspective. Don’t shut down or surrender in the face of conflict; instead, show the other person that you recognize that their concerns are valid. Acknowledge their concerns and engage with them. Conflict doesn’t have to mean “angry arguments,” it can actually be a good impetus for two people to communicate more openly about what they’re trying to accomplish and how they can better help one another.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt. Your boss is probably not deliberately trying to be mean to you. Your co-worker probably did not intend for that e-mail to sound so harsh. Try to separate the person from the message that was delivered – if you object to the tone of an e-mail or the way your boss is critiquing your performance, there are ways to defend yourself without personally attacking the person delivering the message.
• Show that you care. Sometimes conflict is inevitable. When two different people have different ideas for how to handle a situation, there might not be a way to avoid having a disagreement. Conflict can even be healthy – after all, in companies where no one ever disagrees, that is often a sign that no one is really engaged in shaping the future direction of the business, or a sign that management is stifling people’s ideas. Constructive conflict is a sign of people who are eager to share their ideas and help shape the future.
Conflict can be uncomfortable, but it’s not insurmountable. If you can improve your communication, respect other people’s opinions, and better anticipate other people’s needs as part of your regular work day, you’ll be less likely to have painful arguments, and more likely to have productive exchanges of ideas that lead to better results for your organization and better career success for you.
Ben Gran (http://benjamingran.com/) is a freelance writer based in Des Moines, Iowa. He is an award-winning blogger who loves to write about careers and the future of work.
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